Q: What gear were you in at the moment
of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia
gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways
does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can
you give us an example of something that you’ve
forgotten?
Q: All your responses
must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: How old is your son—the one living
with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t
remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first
thing your husband said to you when he woke that
morning?
A: He said, "Where
am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that
upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: And where was the
location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost
499.
Q: And where is milepost
499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: Sir, what is your
IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
Q: Do you know if your
daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Trooper, when you
stopped the defendant, were your red and blue
lights
flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant
say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers journal,
the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by
attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given
by insightful witnesses:
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when
a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until
the next morning?
Q: The youngest son,
the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present
when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your
younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles
at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until
the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have
you committed suicide?
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: So the date of conception (of the
baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children,
right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs
went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slatery, you
went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
A: I went to Europe,
sir.
Q: And you took your
new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe
the individual?
A: He was about medium
height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance
here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to
your attorney?
A: No, this is how
I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many
autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies
are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the
time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started
around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington
was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting
on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the
autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the
patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on
my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still
been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have
been alive and practising law somewhere.
